Don't drink and write

I almost fell off my chair on Sunday morning when I read what I had written to pve on our irc-channel the night before. I had been catching sun and studying to the exam I had today on Tervasaari on Saturday afternoon and was invited to my friends F’s and A’s housewarming party in the evening. It wasn’t supposed to get that wet, but what did I honestly think when mixing a litre of 50-50 cosmopolitan berfore I left?

So, the housewarming party started off all right. I was the first one to arrive, one hour late. It was a beautiful day, so I suppose most people chose to stay out as long as possible. After downing a couple of glasses of their sangria and a couple of ciders, I brought in the heavy artillery. Goddamn, it had to be the nastiest cosmo I’ve ever had. Although it did get better the more I consumed…

The night went on and my sister joined us a couple of hours before leaving to Lost&Found. When we arrived, the queue seemed disproportionally long and both sis and I really had to use a toilet, so J came up with a superb idea and lended us the keys to his student’s organization – only about 5000 blocks away! Not a chance that I’ll walk that far for a toilet! When we 10 minutes later opened the door, we were greeted by surprised looks and a “who the hell are you!?” We explained that we were friends of J’s and were just here to use the toilets. The surprised looks and the “who the hell are you!?” miraculously transformed into an indifferent shrug of the shoulders and a “sure, go ahead”. Nice people, those law students.

While waiting for the cuddly couple in the men’s toilet to finish their business, I talked to some guy who apparently knew J and through the door opening I see sis with two GTs in her hands. After normalizing the pressure in my pants I gladly accepted the GT which evidently was bought on J’s credit, haha. Nice guy, that J.

When returning to L&F after a 50 second run from point B to point A with refuelling pit stops at points G, Q and H on about 0.5 seconds each (we had to finish the GTs we bought, phew), the others had just got past the bouncer and we were screwed. Luckily sis had given her cardigan to J before leaving, so he somehow convinced the bouncer that we actually arrived at the same time and got us in! Nice bouncers, at L&F.

At some point during the night at L&F, sis decided that we had to check out some other places (it was getting crowded at L&F). Leaving our stuff in the cloakroom, we dashed out into the summer night and ran around the corner to We Got Beef. Fuck, the queue was almost as long here as when we got to L&F. “No worries”, I hear sis say while she pulled me past the queue and straight through the door, past the bouncer and the girl taking the entrance fee! Nice people, at WGB.

“How the hell did you do that?!”, was my response when I finally absorbed the impulses from this never before seen act of deception. I can’t remember the answer (if there was one) nor the fact that I bought sis a drink for being so cool. Ecstatic from the con at the door, we soon decided to do it all over again. This time it was DTM that was about to witness our talents. Amazingly (?) there wasn’t a queue, so we just strolled past the bouncer and the entrance fee girl. As the grin started to form on my face, I hear someone shouting at us from the door. “IGNORE IT!!”, the devil on my shoulder barked in my right ear. So I did, and the next thing I knew a shape surprisingly like a human arm grabbed me and pulled me back. “PAY, you motherfucker!”, my brain registers. As an act of God, my Visa card was all of a sudden being pulled through some kind of apparatus by the girl I thought we fooled so successfully at the door. As a result of my conscientious reflexes, I was now 14€ poorer. Pavlov would be proud. Not so nice people, at DTM.

Our time at DTM was… odd. I was taken for a homosexual and some guys that undoubtedly were gay started to hit on me. The main reason for this was that my loving sis introduced me as her gay brother. Nice going, sis! It doesn’t take a great power of deduction to understand that we didn’t spend much time at DTM after that. Sorry guys, I’m not gay.

Enough of this delirious running about! Back at L&F, we were quite… hrm… tired, so we hailed a taxi and went home. Before shutting down my computer, I reported on my adventures to pve with the “sentence”:

“oi vyu satan ja e hyhpöö så staatan. syrran spuúver osfuer hors mig,. vi e fylla u faan”

Tip of the week: Don’t drink and write.


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